greg (grysar) wrote,

True testing

All my life, tests have been my element, we'll see if that holds to orals and job interviews. My Foreign Service Oral exam is tomorrow, I'll be sleeping at a hotel in DC as its easier than getting down there by 7 am. I'm not ready yet, but I will be, the hardest part won't be the remaining paperwork and the personal essay though, it will be remembering stories of times i've exhibited various traits. Ultimately I just don't tell stories of my life all that often, or that successfully, it won't be natural and so I need to have them ready before hand.

Passing or failing doesn't mean a whole lot for my life, I don't know yet if I'm even ready to take the job if they offer it. I'm sorta of interested in it to find out how good I am at this point. I don't think I'll pass, which is scary. I'll have supreme confidence when I'm there because my skills and intelligence are more than ample but my life experiences not so much so.

I know I'm actively betting against myself to keep it from hurting as much if i don't pass. I'll be OK, I can prove myself in other ways and will rather soon, but not passing will hurt.

Fortunately, I'm prepared to be at my best, calm, relaxed, friendly, and smart (though i will have to suppress smart-alec tendencies) I'm a natural but it may not be my time yet and i just don't have time to completely prepare the strong points of my life story. but I will be ok, even if I fail.

Course, if i pass, i'll be insufferable, fair warning for any that would wish me luck ;p
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