greg (grysar) wrote,
greg
grysar

Butterflies

Taking the Foreign Service Oral exam again tomorrow, finishing up paperwork now at parents' house. I'm not really hyped, in good part because I know that I probably shouldn't be doing this just yet. There are some skill areas that I truly should master first (oral and written communication and self-discipline primarily) and particularly if President Bush gets another term, I doubt I'll even be able to do that much good at State. That and I'm somewhat scared their records are screwed up and they won't be prepared for me, a fear made worse by the lack of easy contacts and minimal communications from them.

My mood isn't improved by the two weeks worth of computer troubles I've had capped off this afternoon by my graphics card smoking after I installed a new CPU. Thanks go out to Coby and Omar who have helped me a lot in this and anyone whose put up with my whining about it.

Once tomorrow is over, I need to finish up my technical job, a trickey task without a computer. I can't really move on with my life til that's done but it's still a lot of work from being finished.

Afterwards... I'm not even sure if there is a dream temporary job out there for me right now. Finding something for the interim and working on getting into the Peace Corps seems like my best bet. It's strange how increasingly attractive that option looks in the face of other troubles. In part I think it's sort of an escapist solution to the things that worry me. But then, I read in a post article this weekend that the difference between a dream and a fantasy is whether you put hard work into it. I know myself well enough to be sure that I would put hard work into achieving dreams via something like Peace Corps, and that's why it's so comforting to me.

Sigh, now to get back to the paperwork.
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